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"Children - and the Bible" - - by Rev. Weldon Bares

Sometimes kids, as well as grown-ups, don’t always get it exactly right about the Bible. Here are some actual statements that kids have made about some Bible stories:

Adam and Eve were created from an Apple tree. Noah's wife was Joan of Ark. Lot's wife was a pillar of salt during the day, but a ball of fire at night. Samson slew the Philistines with the axe of the Apostles. Moses went up to Mount Cyanide to get the Ten Commandments.

The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.

The seventh Commandment is, "Thou shalt not admit adultery." Moses died before he ever reached Canada. Then Joshua led the Hebrews in the Battle of Geritol.

Solomon, one of David's sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines. When Mary heard that she was the mother of Jesus, she sang the Magna Carta. When the three Wise Guys from the east side arrived they found Jesus in the manager. The Epistles were the wives of the Apostles. And one of the Opossums was St. Matthew who was also a taxidermist. Christians have only one spouse. This is called monotony.

Children are so awesome. They have a way of making us smile. Perhaps that is why Jesus said, “Let the children come to me, and do not stop them, for the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to such as these.” (Matthew 19:14)

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